behind-the-crochet

Stop Blaming Everyone Else For Your Toxicity

Melody Walker

So before I even start ranting and raving (lol if you follow me on any of my social media platforms, y'all know this isn't anything new. I've been running my mouth for years lol)...but yeah, before I get started fussing and cussing, I KNOW that this has nothing to do with what my website is about. But honestly, I'm not interested in having a website for my crochet items and another one for my thoughts. Most likely you found me thru one of my social media accounts so you already know how I get down. I won't pretend to be something I'm not, I won't let fear of what potential clients may think of me after reading anything I type up. You know why? Cuz you simply don't have to read it. You can just stay on the shopping side of my website and leave my blog posts alone lol. It's really that simple and it's the only thing YOU can control.

Now, on to my fussing!

So today’s rant is based on a post I saw on Facebook right? It’s basically about not using toxic personality traits as an excuse for why you’re alone.

We all know the saying that goes something like “your elevation requires your isolation” or something, I can’t remember lol. While that may be true in some instances, that’s not always the case.

Some of you are alone because you freaking suck! No one WANTS to be around you cuz of your bad attitude, your judgmental mindset, your disgusting habits, the ghetto drama you have in your life, whatever.

I can tell you that I’ve lost certain friends over the years cuz of my attitude & my mouth. It was always crazy to me cuz besides me being rude & having a short fuse, I’m a really good person to have around. I’ve always gone out of my way for others.

I’m that friend that gives you money if you need it. Rides with you on a mission or just to the store. I’ve done hair a LOT for free, even during the time I was making a living from it. I’ve babysat kids for free & I don’t even have any! I was always there on the phone, thru text or in person. I’ve had numerous ppl come stay with me cuz their home life was in shambles. I cooked for my friends. I went to events with them both as company or as support cuz they worked at the location. Do you know how many clothes & shoes I no longer have cuz my friends “borrowed” them? I had my own mental & emotional issues to sort out yet I was everyone’s sounding board.

But see, when I needed someone, no one was there & they all tried to blame it on my attitude. I’m sure it didn’t help but I still find that as an excuse for certain ppl I’m no longer friends with but I won’t touch on that today.

Now the reason I’ve been in isolation the past few years...actually it’s a number of reasons. One, I no longer drive-long story for another video lol. Do you think any of those friends or family members offer to come pick me up or at LEAST meet me somewhere even after all the years I drove them around when THEY didn’t have cars???? Nope!

Two, I moved. I lived in my first house for the first 25 years & 6 mos of my life. Even when I moved into my own place for a year, I still kept my home address & that’s where I moved back to after I left there. Another long story for another video lol. But that house everyone came to, everyone was familiar with, etc. We only live about 10 min from my old house but my family acts like we moved hella far so they don’t really come up here unless it’s something in it for them-they want their hair done, my mom is giving away furniture or other household stuff or it’s a party which means free food & liquor and to go plates for them. Sad right?

Reason 3: I’m now in isolation because I just no longer feel the same around the ppl I once stayed around for years. I won’t say I’ve outgrown them but maybe I have. Or our lifestyles are very different & it’s only been super obvious since we’re older. I’ve never been a club person & only been to one earlier this year since maybe 6/7 years ago??? And some of the ppl I know go to those ratchet ass spots. No. They don’t even have a dress code. Hell no. Nothing against it, it’s just not for me.

There are things I WANT to do but I don’t have anyone I can really try new stuff with. My family members just aren’t into what I call normal stuff-new restaurants that DONT offer chicken tenders as a meal selection; plays; poetry events; museums; etc. It would be like pulling teeth with some of the very ppl that always “jokingly” called me & my mom bougie. I meannn, there IS more to life than hanging on the block, drinking hard liquor & smoking but what do I know???

I got off topic. See this is why I moved my rants from IG/Snapchat to YouTube & my blog 😂

Back on topic! Quit saying “they hated Jesus” as an excuse for why ppl don’t like YOU. You’re not Jesus! Jesus ain’t even Jesus but that’s a topic I won’t eeeeeven touch on lmao. You’re just a horrible person. The “Jesus” we learned about was kind, giving, loving, accepting & healer. Y’all don’t help ppl do anything, don’t support anything, don’t share anything, don’t like anything, don’t nothing! You just don’t! Quit comparing yourself to this Bible character when YOUR own character is in question.

Y’all are rude for no reason. Selfish for no reason (& I’m not referring to ppl taking advantage of you or you engaging in self-care). No one is obligated to help or do anything for anyone, however, you receive the same energy you put out. Why would anyone be there for you when you’re not there for them? Why would anyone be polite to you when you’re rude to them from the start?

Y’all are inconsiderate, inconsistent, liars, manipulative, stressful, ghetto & just downright headaches. Then questioning why no one is around. YOU ARE TOXIC LIL UGLY!!!

Y’all are quick to point out other ppls flaws without acknowledging or correcting your own. Y’all brag about your cut off game when really you just can’t maintain healthy relationships. All kinds of fucked up ppl & situations will come into your life for numerous reasons-but honestly, some of it is y’all fault! You attract that bad energy with your own bad energy. Y’all are grown af bragging about how you cut everyone off after a couple weeks. EVERYONE tho? YOU are the problem. YOU are attracting this kind of energy, YOU are CHOOSING to let these kind of ppl into your life, YOU end up cutting them off then screaming from the rooftops how strong your cut off game is.

Brag about how good of a friend you are. Brag about how strong your communication skills with your friends are. Brag about healthy relationships. Brag about longevity in these healthy relationships. So many ppl in our generation can’t do that cuz they’re too busy being assholes to each other.

If you’re an asshole, own that shit! But don’t be out here lying about why ppl don’t mess with you. They’re not around cuz you’re an asshole, not cuz “they hated Jesus.” Everyone isn’t out to get you, they’re just tired of your ghetto mess!

With yo uglass.

Nah bit seriously, stop making excuses for why you’re such a horrible person & just work on doing & being better. You can’t keep hollering about “positive vibes only” and you’re the epitome of negative vibes. 

Do better. 


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